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Monday, June 7, 2010
the kick is kicking in.
Its been 3 nights since Darling enlists. His third night in Tekong for his PTP. I wonder how he's doing. Really, I hope NS hasn't been a torture for him. But I know my darling's a strong boy, he will be well inside. I know I don't have to worry about him, all I hope is he's doing well inside really and adapting well to the new environment.This 3 days and nights to Diona has been tough, cause I really miss him a lot. Since the night before he enlists, we went out to run an errand for his aunt. We stayed till evening, then we parted our ways. That night, I was so emotional. June 4th, I remember it clearly, one day before he enlists. That kind of feeling that I've is really so complicated. Its like very minute I'm with him, marks every minute I'm stepping away from him. That night, I tried holding back my tears so bad while we were out. But I don't know if Darling spotted the tears welled up in my eyes while we were together outside. I really tried to stop it from flowing out, but when I look at him, all I could think of is, he's gonna be away for long. And I won't know how to be. How he'll be. And I know for sure, I'll miss him. Sorry Darling, I tried to be strong in front of you that night already. Because I know if I break down in front of you, it will only put you in a more difficult spot. You know you've to leave me in Singapore, for your NS. There's nothing you can do about it, even if I break down, you still have to go. So I've to make it easier for you to leave, not to worry about me. (: I didn't pluck up enough courage to send you off to Tekong with your family. I wanted to, but I knew I'll cry very hard when you turn your back and leave us. So, I stopped myself from going when I wanted so bad to be there with you for that little while more. If I break down there, your family won't know what to do, you wouldn't know what to do. And it will only make it harder for you. When you called me on the first night, I was so relieved to hear your voice. I broke down again, cried so bad when I heard your voice. Its like such a relief to know you're fine. But you sound so tired. Darling, now every night I'm waiting for your call. Even if its just for that few short minutes, I'm contented. Though I hoped it was longer, but I'll be understanding. And I know I haven't been strong, but I'll be fine baby. Its just that each time I finally get to hear your voice again, I start to tear again. Its like, just me missing you. (: Baby love, stay strong inside. You can do it. You'll be out to be a better man, my muscular boy and one that I can count on for my safety and all. I can't wait to see you with your new grown muscles. Hehehe. No more tummy for me to disturb already eh? Absence makes the heart grows fonder, I hope you're missing me as much as I'm missing you outside. Think of me when your morale is down. I shall be patiently waiting for you to be back here by my side. About 11 more days to go and you'll be back with me again. Lets countdown. Wait for you to come give me my many many hugs and kisses as you promised me. I'll be strong, you be strong too baby. Muacks. (: Miss you so bad. |
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