Tuesday, December 8, 2009
#16: my confessions.
Recently, I think I've changed into a different person. In my own eyes, I've changed into a mean-er person than before. Yes, I was mean in the past, but I feel I'm mean-er nowadays. I know I've gone overboard in my jokes and carried my nonsense too far sometimes. But after I think back at my actions and whatever I did, those bad comments I kept giving, I feel very guilty. I feel sinful. No joke, I'm not kidding. I do feel bad after all the laughs.

I need to change, I need to stop myself from behaving like this. I just don't feel good becoming like this. I don't know why, I seems to have endless comments and I can't keep them out of my mouth. I know its mean, I know I shouldn't be doing so. Who am I to comment, who am I to pick on people's weakness and who am I to ever go gossip about others.

I need to change. I need to stop it.
I'm serious this time round. Please stop me from becoming mean-er.
This is not the Diona I want to become.

I don't want to be seen as a meanie, as a fucked up person.
Yes, I just spilled the profanities again.
What the hell is wrong with Diona now.

So crude.
So vulgar.
So violent.
So gossipy.
So mean.
So unladylike.
So much more.

I did some soul searching.
This is definitely not the Diona I want to be.
I'm sorry if I'd been mean lately.

Sometimes we just need to reflect upon our own actions.
Is what you've been doing all along the right thing to do?
Have you been hurting people along the way?
Is this how you want to become of?
Have you gone overboard in your jokes and actions?
Just for all the laughter generated,
is it the right way to go about generating that laughter among friends?
Sacrificing innocent friends/acquaintances of yours?
Have you been what you want to be, doing what you're supposed to be doing?

I know all the above answers are no in my own opinion.
I don't want to be mean, I don't want to be like I'm now.
I don't like to behave like this, I don't like to behave like a bitch.
I feel guilty and bad about what I've been doing.

Please change yourself, Diona. (:

(Yes people, I'm not emo-ing. I'm perfectly fine. I'm not in a bad mood. I'm just self-reflecting.)

Good night love.




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#15: feeling a lil all over the place. (: #14: when school bores me. #13: rocket speed. #12: Diona smiles bubblegum smiles. #11: how time flies. #10: be the top of the apple tree. #09: the stayover. #08: on my mind. #07: my life stinks. #06: Because I love you.
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Hello Stranger,
Hi, I'm Diona Nicole. I'm onto my 21st this year. I'm a true blue Virgo. It takes time to understand the real me, I don't open up to just anyone. My close ones are those who've seen the other part of me. Friends are my treasures, I thank them for making the efforts to understand me. I love shopping and days/nights out with my friends, but I'm always penniless. I'm very much a pampered girl under my parents' covers. I need to grow out of it, someday. I have a boyfriend, we get along good. I love you, Baby J.

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